16 days and still no progress

Hi!

I'm writing in the depths of disgust tonight. I received horrible news about my daughter's behavior at school and I got depressed immediately and what did I do? The only thing I know HOW to do when I get upset... I ate. I can't even remember the last time I went to Taco Bell but after getting bad news today... all I could remember was that there was a Taco Bell nearby. I ordered $10.00 worth of stuff and "stuffed" my face. I was REALLY depressed after that. I didn't work out today AND I waited until 11:30 to cook chicken and stew with rice (two totally different meals) but I ate BOTH of them together because I just had to do something to stop thinking about what my daughter had done. Tomorrow I have to go to my first meeting with my supervisor for my internship and my eyes are swollen and puffy, I feel like crap and I miss having a friend to talk to.

This is the part I hate about being a single-parent, there is no one to TALK to. I need support, but that leads me to feeling depressed because THEN I start to think of support AND companionship, which leads me to wish I had a special gentleman in my life, which leads me to remember the heart-break I got from trusting the "men" in my past, which then leads me to get depressed, which leads to OVEREATING. Then I eat some more, because I already feel bad and I need something to do but the only thing I can think of doing is EATING. Self-sabotage.

I've got paperwork to fill out , but I'm going to bed. I am drained, my daughter is normally a very good child, but she has apparently found a "new group of friends" and she is choosing to be influenced by them. I have worked so hard to teach her to be true to herself. It seems that I'm failing at that too. It's too much for me to talk about, I'm tired and I don't want to see it in writing. I'm giving it to God and taking my hand off of it. I'm drained, hopefully I won't eat again before I go to bed. I can't fit in any of the clothes I just spent over 600.00 for and THAT'S even MORE depressing. I haven't spent money on clothes for me (that cost over $7-10.00 since I got pregnant with my daughter). I'm disgusted that I can't follow an exercise routine for 30 days in a row, when I did it before in the Army. I want to do better, but I just seem to keep finding ways to fail. Ugggghhh!!

I HATE complaining.

r