HI!
Well, been through a LOT of drama and consequences as a result of my daughter's actions because she wanted to be "friends" with a certain group of "idiot's". Really stressed about it and without regret, I have downed a box of Wal-Mart donuts and Hershey's Cocoa. I know it's not the best thing... but it's what I did and I'm going to start today to make better choices. I think reading over what I have done since starting this blog helps to reinforce the fact that I 've got to do things differently.
The pastor at the church I joined gave a sermon saying we NEED to have good, SUPPORTIVE friends in our lives and my mistake has been cutting myself off from people because I have been hurt so badly by others I have let in and trusted. The truth is there will ALWAYS be those in the world who will use you IF you let them. I am making the decision to make friends but to be more aware of the signs I see that clue me in to whether they are good people or not. I have a bad habit of continuing to trust people even though I have a 'FUNNY FEELING' about them. I will do a better job of monitoring who I let into my life.
Meanwhile, back to the healthy eating stuff. I am starting over and I am NOT going to beat myself up. I 'm back on track and here we go!!
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2 comments:
Rhonda,
You're not alone when it comes to the problems. I just checked my mailbox & I've got alot of overdrafts notices, as well as fees in the mail. I thought I had enough money to cover my expenses, but I didn't. I've been trying to watch my spending, since I got a cut in pay. I'm just crying my eyes out right now because I'm tired of asking my mama for money that I can't pay back. I'm sure she thinks that I'm throwing alot of money away, but honestly I'm not. A $4 pay cut puts a big dent in my pocket. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone. I don't think God hears me b\c I'm not in church. I sent a check for my tithes by a co-worker, but it's going to bounce b\c I have $0 dollars in the bank.
I'm sure whatever you're going through w\h your daughter will pass, as you said, leave it to God.
I have major issues when it comes to trusting people. I also, trust WAY TOO EASILY. I'd swear you and I are related somehow. I've had more so-called friends to do me wrong.
I don't want to depress you anymore than you already are, so we'll talk later. And remember, things are going to be just fine w\h your daughter.
Shameeka,
Try to go easier on yourself. Honestly, I think the pay cut is another attempt from God to get your attention and get you shaken up enough to move on... as in "mad enough to go out and seek employment somewhere else". I don't buy into the world telling us God only hears us when we go to church- the church is the building where we gather to worship BUT we are the temple HE created and we are with Him and HE IS WITH US EVERYDAY.
Sometimes we have to get to a point where we are tired of doing the same thing the same way and getting the SAME result or TIRED OF BEING TREATED THE SAME WAY BY THE SAME PEOPLE... that we get up and MOVE. I spent four years of pure hell with my husband, while crying and praying to God to get me out of it. You know what the answer was? To get up and MOVE. I got tired of crying and praying while working 3 jobs, going to school full time, paying the bills but BOUNCING 2-3 CHECKS EVERY MONTH and each month that came in left me "broker" than the month before because the bank took their cut first!! My husband was "chillin" -bringing in about $40.00 A MONTH ( down from being the bread winner at the beginning of our marriage) cuz he said he KNEW "I" would take care of everything and me with my crazy in love self-trying to prove to him, his family and the rest of the world I could do it... I WAS stressing doing it all!
Girl, one day...I just got not just tired, cuz I lived TIRED EVERYDAY... but this particular day I was tired and FINALLY FED UP-- I had a conversation with God and told Him,life couldn't POSSIBLY be any worse if I chose to JUST LET HIM GUIDE ME. I was tired of being everybody else's whipping horse and I KNEW that God didn't create me to live a life so stressed out- He desired to give "ME" good things too--but I had to be willing to let go of what I "thought" was good for me and let HIM send me to where I needed to be.
Crying and praying I heard Him tell me it was "time to let go". I had held on to my problems and issues and been hard-headed about "doing things my way" for so long...that I was just READY to do something different. I chose to TRUST GOD.
I gave away JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING in my house and trust me girl, I had acquired some NICE stuff, that's half the reason I stayed so long- because I didn't want to leave my "stuff"- but I realized "stuff" was not enough to make me happy- no sofa- no Christmas trees- no job- no status in the community--NOTHING was worth MY PIECE OF MIND.
With tears in my eyes, I packed up my daughter, my dog, HIS TELEVISION AND "GOOD" DVD player that he left when he "moved out cuz his mama said so"- a few clothes and some food for the trip to Texas and THE FAITH-WALK WITH JESUS BEGAN!!
Girl, let me tell you! :) I left my home of 14 years, my car, my jobs, my school, my friends, my church, my community- crying on July 2, 2006 with about $400.00 in the bank and I spent almost $200.00 in gas- but in less than 2 years time God has BLESSED me with a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment filled and trust me when I say FILLED with BEAUTIFUL FURNITURE- better than what I had in North Carolina- I've got a better car, a better school, I'm interning at a better job and best of all Shameeka...Girl, I've got PEACE OF MIND!! MY SPIRIT IS FREE!! I'm still fighting to let go of the Popeyes chicken and donuts :)- but other than that God had REALLY shown me the love He has for His children- and how He will release it into their lives --> WHEN THEY TRUST HIM!!
I stayed in what was "familiar" because I was scared of "things I did not know"- but my life has truly been transformed since letting go and letting God, and I'll be honest with you...much of the past year and a half- I have NOT attended many church services. Sometimes money was too tight and I had to choose between getting to school and going to church and school won- but I always talk to God and tell Him I am glad He knows my heart and that if I Could- I would go to church every Sunday- but I'm glad He knows I love Him always- whether I am in a building or not.
Try to do something different, exhaust your energy trying to find a new job-find your heart's desire- contact some nonprofits organizations doing something you are committed to working with and see if they are looking for staff members, maybe a move is in order. I can't tell you specifically what will work for you because that is going to take prayer and conversation between you and God. Our situations are very similiar- but God knows what is best for you. Every road block is not a dead-end for you, it just means you've got to find a different path to get to where you need to be in that place of healing and refreshment.
You are my sister-in-Christ and I am here with you walking through the daily struggles of life. I will spiritually support you in any way that I can but I can tell you from experience- to give it to the Master, and watch miracles unfold! :)
Cry when you have to, but keep your head up (even when the checks bounce- life happens) the stuff that happened with my daughter- girl, it's just too much for me to say- but I had to stop and give it to God because I was overwhelmed and speechless instantly. I was either going to cry or die from it and I wasn't willing to keep that much on my plate. I continually gave it to God in prayer everytime it crossed my mind and you know what? I handled the situation and the people involved with more peace and grace than I have ever known and girl, I can tell you THAT RIGHT THERE IS GOD!! Cuz the Rhonda in me- the flesh would have risen up and acted a stone-cold FOOL! Prayer changes things, I laugh when I say this, but I am serious... I am in prayer asking God to help me overcome this addiction I have to food and lack of exercise because Rhonda in the flesh has no self-control.
I am asking God to lead me in the area of healthier eating and exercise so I do not find myself in a health crisis.
Your situation is "fixable"- give it to God and let Him work it out. In the meanwhile, talk to me when you can, I'm here with you sister, I'll try to make you laugh when I can and...I'll always keep it real! :)
Be blessed my sister and hold on! You are a child of God and you are worthy of every good thing He has in store for you! My life is a testimony to His mercy and His grace! He's waiting for you to let Him help you out of the bad and into the good life- pray and really listen to Him talking to you, if you're afraid of change- be honest and tell Him, but IF He's telling you it's time to get up and MOVE... be ready for your miracle!
Take care,
Rhonda
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